The Speech of Your Life...

Listener zones

Ever feel that the speaker on the stage was speaking just to you?  Sure you have.  It happens when the speaker does that – speaks directly to you.  And it can happen when the person next to you is the center of focus.  And it can happen when your group is singled out.  It happens in different settings, with different size groups and to varying degrees, but it is always happening.  Now, I am not talking about that blank stare kind of contact that some speakers have, the kind where they are staring a hole right through you and they appear to have been alien-abducted even as they are speaking.  Speaker staring can be creepy.  I am talking about contact beyond eye contact, the kind where a given person is spoken to, and they’ll feel it.  And it’s contagious. 

Audience’s energy and interests vary.  Many settings can impede audience enthusiasm due to protocol or formal expectations.  Sometimes there is a lot of peer pressure (which can be a major element in reactions to humor, but that’s another post).  But people thrive on individual attention.  The more a speaker can reach each singular human being, the more effective the speech.  The more the speaker can reach the next person, and the next person, the better, right?  Through my enrollment in my own speaking study course (even if I am watching a comedian on TV, my brain is always in study mode about speaking and audience reactions), I have observed a fascinating effect that I call the listening zone.  It occurs when an audience member receives individual attention  - and that sense grows beyond the individual with the intensity of the attention being given.

A few examples, starting with the most intense.  A comedian or magician pulls an audience member onto the stage.  Your dream, right? Everyone is enrapt, because we immediately imagine ourselves in their position, trying to be intelligent, to not say something stultifyingly dumb , and at the same time, taking in the intentions of the performer.  Inside our heads we are relieved; while we watch intensely to follow a spontaneous reactive process unfold, we have not become the on-stage victim.  Less extreme is the Q and A portion of a presentation.  The speaker calls for questions, and all eyes and ears turn to the brave and the inquisitive. The speaker responds directly to the asker and we “feel” the direct dialogue and track the speaker’s sincerity.  But more important than those extremes is the simple direct contact while speaking.  While speaking directly to an audience member, that person is engaged.  What will happen next?  Is this a question coming on?  Why me at this time?  Is there anything in my teeth?  Thought processes speed up.  There is a zone of engagement created by picking a person to speak to, bringing a group of focuses to the speaker, with lessening degrees of trepidation perhaps, but nonetheless, engaged and more attentive.  Besides the person being engaged, the immediate next person “feels” the engagement, and begins similar, less intent thoughts, but is brought into the moment.  The third person, also engaged.  And the fourth. 

As a speaker, imagine lines of zones before you, to remember to work each zone.  Or, imagine circles of groups who will be influenced by the feeling of being directly spoken to when you pick a person in the middle of the zone or group to engage and hold for a few sentences, or to share a smile and a laugh.  Look for the reaction from the person you are connecting with while you deliver, and react back.  Even better, react and fold their reaction into the bigger moment for all to benefit even more from the content of the presentation.  Smile, wink, nod, and make it personal.  This kind of contact will win you more in-the-moment attention from everyone immediately nearby the recipient of your gestures, and more respect from the rest of the room.  The age-old advice of “work the whole room” brings out this human dynamic by snapping various audience members into direct contact with the presentation or a point being made.  In really large venues, attention in one direction can prompt what is known as crowd surge, where groups sense and react in unison. 

Zones exist in the audience where contact can be contagious, spreading smiles, thoughts and creating engaging moments.  Contact, again, is more than eye contact.  It’s speaking directly, engaging straightforwardly and causing that critical intellectual rendezvous.  While it may feel like one simple direct contact for the speaker, it can convey to hundreds that the speaker knows how to make contact directly with them. 

Virtually visually limping

I’m not one for negative messages, so don’t read this the wrong way sports fans.  PowerPoint is not always a speakers friend.  Too often I see PowerPoint (OK, PowerPoint ^TM Microsoft) used as a crutch,  the kind of crutch which helps the speaker to avoid contact with the audience.  It is a crutch which uses visuals and text to tell the story, and too often the narrative limps along in a one-sided wobble like  the speaker is wearing a virtual full-leg cast.  Oh so true, we all avoid some things in public speaking and it is a speaking universal that most people fear too much connection, and use “special” tools to avoid it.  After all, we are not at the event to hear about personal depth when we need to know how to sell the widgets, or to understand some aspect of the future.  Just tell us about our future, not your personal past.  And Puleeeeez, don’t confuse us with the fabulous world of flying facts, text, quippy run-on sentences and light-year visuals. 

There are plenty of supporting studies that tell us why visual communication is so important.  Mental retention improves with graphics, overall communication levels deepen (that is, become more effective), and perception of the speaker tends to improve because the speaker is perceived to be more knowledgeable and ready to service the hungry masses every need.  But it is a medium of both strengths and weaknesses.  You’ve probably seen all the violations of visual-aid protocol;  too many words on the page, too many visuals, too little clarity of the point, too few words, leaving you guessing at the meaning, too much use of the features with videos and words and titles and pages zooming in and out and glowing and causing the brain to pause for “What was that?”, too many pages, too much background on the topic, too much, too much, too much. 

Visual aids can be easily abused.  That’s strong language about a chart, huh?  Yes, abused.  When transitions and features add visual “noise” by becoming too much to keep up with, the whole presentation can break down and obstruct audience attention.  Visuals also take time.  They take time to prepare, time to research, verify and edit, time to check hardware, time to recheck hardware, and then they take time to present, time to read, time to explain, they take cerebral absorption time.  Oh, and don’t overlook the idea that you can add noise, your very own sound track.  All that time spent on “creating good visuals” is time not spent on content, significance and audience connection.  The speaker should spend prep time understanding the needs of the meeting planner and the audience.  It takes focus to be a good speaker, and visual aids can take the presenter off track from the connection, disrupt the flow of the meeting, cause a deep ripple in the short time-attention-span-continuum, and by interruption, undermine credibility.  Also, if the speaker feels the need to hide behind the page, the speaker should also ask if they are ready for human attention.  What will you do if the projector fails?  The words of the speaker must be clear enough to carry the message, and a visual aid is just that, a simple aid.     

Visual aids work best when they say something that the speaker cannot.  One of the most powerful speeches I’ve witnessed was delivered at a charity event for children’s protection programs.  The speaker used only photographs of children while she never missed a beat in her description of her own neglect as a child.  The images had no words.  They were combined with her pure terms, and with the occasional serious pause, they became an extremely effective direct appeal to the heart.  Not a dry eye in the house, and the checkbooks hit the tables.  I’ve seen the same technique used by top-level executives who speak the year-end message while showing only customers on screen.  The message came from the facts, were conveyed from the mind and the heart, and the visuals spoke about the successful core values of the enterprise.  That use of visuals sets a very high standard for using images effectively.  Less was so much more. 

As a teaching aid, PowerPoint can be indispensible.  Because it is so graphically powerful with all it’s possible additions to words, it is used today in classes for all ages.  Teachers with bad visual aid habits can steer students away from good speaking skills.  There are times for visuals, but most of life will require engaging directly with everyone from the bus driver, the boss, the team, the customer, the check-out clerk or the city council.  Knowing when to use and not to use visuals is usually a matter of a few simple rules.  Distraction is bad.  Less is more.  Direct connection is better. 

Watching someone using a crutch can be an empathetic experience, but probably not the desired emotional response. Good presenters are aware that communication has a number of available means; verbal, gestures, sounds, visual aids, facts, humor, timing, dress, and the list of tools and techniques is virtually, and sometimes visually, endless.  Distraction, overuse, and over-presenting can lead to distrust, or worse, no “likes”.  Keep it simple to connect to people. 

How about a few words?

“It usually takes more than three weeks to create a good impromptu speech.” Mark Twain didn’t want to “wing it”.  He wanted to give the moment it’s due.  Perhaps he had a message of thanks or inspiration to share.  It’s hard to imagine that he could lose his point or his points of reference.  He probably would have known very well what he wanted to say.  What his (attributed) quote tells us is that he, for any given invitation, wanted to carefully prepare how he would say it.  I’ve seen many confident speakers under-prepare for the weekly address, an annual event, or a lifetime achievement award acceptance.  There's confidence and there's over-confidence.  As practiced professionals, we want to believe that nothing can phase our message, that we’ve been speaking all our lives and, how tough can it be to reiterate what we know.  But approaching the moment of human connection is different from developing the original thought at home on your computer.  As I was processing these thoughts, I looked around on the net and noticed more than one speaker in chat mode, searching for good quotes they could use in impromptu speeches.  Teachers and lecturers know that preparation is required to take impromptu (unprepared thought in an unprepared moment) to extemporaneous (prepared thoughts in an unprepared moment). 

To grip and distribute the full power of a brief opportunity,  we must take in several key components of good communication.  The real gist of the material, the message, the story, the value must be prepared, and that may not be the toughest part of a good impromptu appearance.  As an author, coach, teacher, doctor, scientist, or a tech-boomie, you probably have an established story to tell.  Regardless of how much you know, taking a story to the disguise of the impromptu moment will require awareness of the setting, timing, participation, background and these days, sensitivities far beyond one’s own.  Context and sensitivity are critical to succeeding in delivering a moment which is offered to be either a lighter moment or a profound opportunity.  Preparation for the impromptu moment can be  tedious, and it can go to extremes. 

For example, a well known comedian who later became a mega movie star; many times in his early years of comedic road shows he would spontaneously cut off an audience members tie.  There was always a guy with a tie and he was usually sitting on the end of the aisle.  Every time it all looked impromptu, in the moment, free moving because it was never the same setting or timing or victim.  Here, it just sounds like a repeated joke, but it went down as fresh every time.  Another powerful example, the public role played by my wife.  She is a public-relations director for a very visible non-profit, and may, on any given day, be standing before the reporters cameras answering inquiries about the latest changes in programs and services, or to dispel rumors which spawned from a police report.  She must be on point, on message, 24/7, regardless the scenario or the question. 

You’ve been asked to say a few words at an event, nothing prepared, really.  First, know the setting and the subject of the moment; know the short version, know the long version, know the details and how to bound the length of your response.  Think about what the event planner will go through to create your “nothing prepared” moment.  How much time will you have, or take?  Is your real audience in the room, or out there on Youtube? Remember, out there, the sound bite rules.  Take the time to say thank you to the right people.  Deliver your message in exactly the words you want to be heard.   If that requires editing in the moment, be light and easy, not heavy and serious, which can cause verbal stumbling.  Keep it moving and return to being “on message”, the message they respect you for already.  Stay in bounds - keep your heart where they already believed it was, with your own topics, purposes, and familiar, and hopefully safe jokes.  Practice.  Know every aspect of yourself, your image, your story, your content, in it’s most condensed poignant phrases.  If you can keep it short, you can always add length to fill the time allotted. 

Eventually, whether you expect it or not, you will hear, "How about a few words?"  Be ready to get to the point, every time, any time.  It probably will take a few weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. 

   

When the time comes

Some topics are deadly serious.  It may be the hidden crimes against the innocent.  It may be a medical crisis.  It may be a eulogy commemorating selfless service.  It may be the tragedy of the unfathomable destruction of lands and waters.  There are no laughs for these speeches.  Standing ovations may follow in support of the message and perhaps as a commendation of sheer bravery.  The emotional speech can be a herculean, distressing task. 

This note comes after I gave a eulogy for a dear friend.  He told me twenty-plus years ago that I would do that job.  True to his word, he told me again as his cancer became a deeper battle. 

There are tragedies in the human condition which are hard to speak of, difficult to hear, indelible to the memory, and once heard, cannot be ignored.  Life’s struggles are confronted in speeches or on video.  Some causes or positions can expect to be met with gruff and grave reactions, heavy emotions, sorrow and pain.   Well-argued promises of betterment are important.  Just being able to speak without being overcome with emotion, rising to that moment, takes thought, preparation, and dealing with one’s own deep-in-the-gut emotional reactions.  While audiences are not motivated by discomfort per se, people are compelled by an emotional truth.  Speaking from the heart has an all-powerful capacity to reach the human conscience. 

I recently saw a couple on television discussing a lawsuit which was threatening to remove their three-year old son, whom they had adopted in the delivery room.  They were able to calmly tell of the mother’s confusing change of heart which was now a court battle in the name of love.    The back-story videos showed them in moments as crying, pleading, loving parents.  For the interview, the moment when they asked for moral support, however, they had become anchored in their strengths.  

The hope is always the same.  Please, people, help.   Could you testify about the tragic death of a loved one while proposing changes to seat belt laws which would have prevented your greatest loss?  Can you discuss human trafficking without being overcome by the extremes of empathy and sorrow which compel you to speak out?  Can you show a slide show of massive accidental killings of dolphins trapped in tuna nets without your sympathies causing you to lose your voice?  Can you advocate for the needs of children exposed to the worst of human abuses without making your audience unduly uncomfortable?  Serious speech tasks require fortitude. 

This is speech preparation at the “its personal” level.  Whether the topic is extremely private, or a matter of public disgrace, dealing with emotional space takes time to overcome To invoke the sports-analogy classic – you can psyche yourself up to it.  To get ready for these moments;  1) Spend time with your own feelings.  With time, you can get in the zone.  2) Write that emotional plea clearly.  Include details, but consider softening the most unpleasant graphics.  Only spend enough material in the worst thoughts to make the situation clear.  3) Repeat it aloud until the feeling of the toughest lines are anticipated and the emotions are dealt with.  This is not to dispose of your compassion and passion, but to ensure that you can retain your voice and composure.   4) Find those emphasis moments and anticipate reactions – it’s important to empathize with the audience as you tap into their emotions, especially when you do it on purpose (which can come across as audience manipulation instead of sharing and caring if you’re not sincere).  Where you feel it, they’ll feel it.  5) Then move on toward answers and solutions. Describe your vision of the future - something to move toward (!). 

My friend was a person of humor, and wanted none of the "serious" memorial.  He wanted a celebration, a looking back while moving forward.  Luckily, I had few days to deal with my feelings.  I called upon his humor in my memories, and managed to bring smiles and laughs to go with everyone's tears. 

Whether a eulogy, a commemoration, or serious advocacy, these can be the most important speeches you’ll ever give, especially when you provide a voice for those in need.  From an internal need to serve comes every cause, every deep change, and every great speech.  Good writing and reading time can both internalize and objectify the toughest topic, without losing that feeling. 

Delicately strung together

Personal and environmental stress factors are noticable in the voice.  A voice which carries even a slight unintended level of stress will convey it, to the discomfort of the audience.  No matter how exciting the occasion or how relaxed the setting, the off-key sound of a speaker who is ridden with anxiety will cause an audience to wish for, well, someone else, and please, soon.  To overcome the raspy, the high-pitched, the hesitant, or the anxiety-ridden squeak of the unprepared, the solution lies in the pre-event work which settles the nerves. 

Speech coaches and therapists know that a good voice is paramount to delivering a good speech.  So do aspiring singers and speakers.  How else would you explain the numerous speech, stage, and singing coaches you can readily find in your city? 

Many people display the tendency to speak with a grand smile.  As compelling as a great smile is, it does not support the facials needed to provide soothing, strong, deliberate movement and sound.  The formation actually causes an undue tension in the tongue, can tighten the throat, and can serve to elongate certain vowel sounds.  Think Southern belle, like Scarlett Ohare’s wistful southern dialect, with each vowel sound happily strung to the point of becoming it’s own wooorrdd.  The facial muscles and vocal tools are many, and each is needed to bring forth the 42 distinct sounds which comprise human speech across all languages.  Pitch comes from that flap deep in the throat, the epiglottis.  Like every part of the body, it is also subject to our stresses.  But the outpouring of sound is shaped, molded, trimmed, clicked, timed, elongated, and varied by the controls mounted above it. Many sounds are delicately strung together in compound words.  Here’s a simple example.  Pronounce the word consonant.  Now slowly pronounce every sound; k-ah-n-s-oh-n-ah-n-t.  Try the word with emphasis on the n sounds to see how it resonates in the nasal chambers.  Try it again with an emphasis on the k and t which are clicks of the tongue.  Simple sounds, complex syllables.  Many sounds get lost in an unintended hurry, especially the s, which isn’t ess, it’s a hissing sound like a tea kettle.  S’s can become flat when they are spoken through a broad tight smile which doesn’t allow the tongue to fully form the s push.   Those are just a couple of hints as to how to analyze your speech patterns.  A little bit of study will help to move the speaking muscles into the right places. 

Along with our words, we step forth with our issues of the moment:  Did I get enough sleep and exercise to shake off that bad flight seat?  Have I rested my voice prior to this long teaching session?  Am I distressed over my broken computer?  Are my shoulders tight?  Stresses in many forms will accompany us to the lectern, and they will be heard in the voice.  Learning a few calming exercises will assist, such as slow methodical deep breathing, well prior to taking the stage.  Loosening up the body by just dangling the arms like a child, turning and flapping them around yourself, will release upper-body tension.  Yawning is excellent for ridding the body of deep anxieties – and it warms up the facial and throat muscles to loosen them for good sound creation.  

When we step up to the microphone, we take on the most intimidating job there is – clarity.  When we realize that we are affecting what we say by the way we feel at the moment, we take the first step toward sounding better, because, if we feel bad, they’ll hear it.